a conversation with grief


“Hello”, says grief, “I’m here”,

As if I didn’t know,

You arrived on wings of loss and fear,

And now refuse to go.

But over time I am learning

The lessons you can teach,

Sometimes you support my yearning

At other times you preach.

“I am your faintly irritating friend”

you tap me on the shoulder,

“You’ll grow to accept me in the end

Before you are much older” .

Loss is an insult to the soul,

Working with grief sews the tear

But it cannot quite fix the hole

Or repair the scar that’s newly there.

My lovely boy would be a man,

And that is hard to take

But it seems grief has no time span,

As agony wanes to dull ache.

“There is no timeline”, grief confirms

“Never expect to be quite ‘over it’

You have to live its twists and turns

And mould it to a better fit” .

As time goes by, grief lectures me

And makes me see I am wrong

To consider I lost my own life

For it is another’s that is gone.

Though I lost the me I used to know,

Someone new I have had to greet

My grief has changed to friend, from foe,

Although we never planned to meet.

Like a phoenix out of the fire

The tangled tumult of grief

Knits new spirit, rising ever higher

Borne from pain, reflecting faith and belief.

I heard a man speak the other day

Of a futile decade of despair and hope

He described a couple’s fruitless journey,

No baby ever – how do they cope?

They agreed their story to share

And found their pain brought healing

They gave it to the world to care

And received in return, positive feeling.

From crucifixion there is resurrection

He said, without a shadow of doubt

This was an individual reflection

But its truth to me did shout.

Grief brings its responsibility

To rise above the sorrow

You can do this to your best ability

Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Through words, like many, I seek to proclaim

That darkness can indeed turn to light,

Living positive will fan the flame

Dispelling the shadows of the night.

“Hello,” says grief, “I walk in your heart

And I am never going to leave,

Now you accept I am a part

Of all you strive to achieve

I am not a lodger, I am a tenant

And it is my right to occupy

Fly the flag and wave the pennant

Together we are flying high”.




4 thoughts on “a conversation with grief

  1. Sheridan Voysey

    A very moving poem, Andrea. These kind of words can only come from a heart stretched wide – which is a kind of redemptive aspect to losing your son itself. Thank you for putting your pain to work for others.


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